Disappearing… or escaping?

Certain days, especially during the miserable Southern California summer heat, I want desperately to escape somewhere smaller and somewhere colder. With the impending changes in my life (A&P classes, resuming undergrad) looming over me like a great vulture about to peck my eyes out, not to mention my sanity, it’s hard not to wonder whether I’m really doing the right thing. I know I can be an optimist to my own detriment… I’ve worked three jobs before, it’s no big deal. I’ve taken twelve credits while working during the holidays, it isn’t impossible. But this time, I’m not sure if it isĀ possible. With A&P classes every morning till 2 followed by night classes, work in between and all weekend, and juggling flight lessons somewhere in there, I am not sure if I can survive that for four months. It is doable, but only with the proper setup. I have to face the reality of my circumstances; I live on a couch in my family’s messy crowded house because rent in this city is too expensive to do anything other than work to pay your rent, and maybe go out once a month. Realistically, I won’t be able to find the time, let alone the privacy, to study and do my homework. And when you’re taking nothing but math and physics, that’s kind of important.

So I daydream. What about this place? Is it not fanciful and lovely?

 

The towns in Humboldt county are just darling. And there are nearby colleges, both community and state, and just a little further north is an Air National Guard fighter unit if I decide to go that route… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t seriously tempted. Escape the heat, the traffic, the crowds, the stress, the lack of privacy and finally find a place to be calm and focused. But that’s just the fantasy talking. I’m sure that surfing on weekends, flying out of one of the various small airports nearby, and being able to ride my bicycle into town wouldn’t equate to the magical paradise I believe it to be. I’d be making minimum wage as a barista or cashier assuming I find a job; if not, my savings would be depleted in a few months. But then again, it isn’t like I’d be moving to New York to dance on Broadway, a city where you can pay someone a grand for the privilege of sleeping on their doormat. I’d be moving to a simple town in pursuit of a simple life. More than likely, that’s what I’d find.

All I can do now is crunch the numbers and lay the timelines, and decide whether not taking a leap of faith is making the stupid choice.